My name is Carrie. My favorite number is 23. I have a big imagination and a big heart. I'm slightly hyperactive, okay really hyperactive and also I love to write read learn and laugh and love. I also love exclamation points. Sometimes I make no sense but most times I do.

 

What song is most encouraging to you? Share the music video, as well as a description about how it speaks to you.

If you’d like to respond, just post with the tag “Here We Collide Collective”, and see if we reblog your song choice next week.

The Song So, In This Hour by the Rocket Summer doesn’t just encourage me, it saved me.  It saved me from the self-hatred, hopelessness and overwhelming sadness that accompanied me when I first got sober.  It saved me from the chains of my mistakes.  It saved me from myself.  And it still saves me from these things today.

I went to see the Rocket Summer (my favorite musician) in concert shortly after I got sober and was struggling with a sort of loss of identity.  I had built my entire life around drinking and lacrosse.  My alcoholism had gotten me kicked off the lacrosse team and without those two things I felt that I had nothing.

I remember being in the crowd that night, hearing Bryce belt out “So in this hour everything I do, will be all for this moment, everything’s for You, my heart is open and willing so take it”.  I realized if I could just be willing to open my heart to change, things could get better. "I wanna help and not just hesitate, but I just don’t. So please take my life and use it. I’m ready"  That pause between "please take my life and use it" and "i’m ready", that exact moment, changed my heart.  Something happened that I cannot explain in words.  I felt a different sensation in my body that wasn’t the heavy sadness I was so used to.  Those words became my personal prayer that night and every night after.

When I’m lost and it seems the end,
like there’s only certain death.
You tell me to live.

When dark clouds cover the sky,
like there’s no hope; you are the light.
You tell me to live.

When I’m all by myself,
and I’m scared about my health.
You tell me to live.

And when you heal my broken wings,
yes you heal my everything.
You tell me to live.


Six years later, I still struggle with those same burdening emotions sometimes on a daily basis, but hearing Bryce’s words reminds me that I have something to live for.  I have people that love me.  I have a gentle Hand constantly guiding me, telling me to live.  I have a reason to go on.